


In My Veins

by undernightlight



Series: Gays in Space [18]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Drug Addiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21421318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: When Hux isn't responding to bridge comms, Kylo Ren decides to find out. What he finds, is not what he expected, and he knows something is wrong.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Series: Gays in Space [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/951465
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	In My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sort of turned into more than I was expecting? I'm not sure, but I kinda like the idea, so might write more to it at some point, but for now, I like it as it. So enjoy!

Kylo walked onto the bridge. "What's the problem?" His voice distorted through his helmet. 

One officer replied, "We've been trying to get a hold of General Hux sir, but he's not responding. We were about to send someone down - he asked not to be disturbed if it could be helped, but he'd want to be here sir."

"I'll go," Kylo said, turning with no further words spoken, leaving for the General's quarters. People moved out of his way as he walked, Kylo appreciated it, and he reached Hux's room quickly and without incident. He debated whether to ring or to go in unannounced, but if he wasn't answering the calls from the bridge, then he wouldn't answer his door either. So Kylo overwrote the code and the door opened.

He was surprised to find the room so silent yet still occupied, the General asleep in his bed. As soon as Kylo took his helmet off, he was overwhelmed by the smell of coffee; it was thick, like he was smelling coffee scented fog. He set his helmet aside and looked around, slowly adapting to the smell. As expected of Hux, the room was impersonal, void of attachment, but neat, his uniform folded on the underneath shelf of the bedside table, his boots lined up beside it. All objects on the desk were aligned and straight, seemingly fitting for what Kylo knew of Hux’s personality. But as Kylo looked closer, things seem off.

There were mugs strewn across the room, three on his desk and another on the side table. Only one mug on the desk sat atop a coaster, the other two having left visible coffee rings, at least a few days old. The trash bin by the side of the desk was overflowing, mostly paper, but also plastics, piling up and spilling over onto the floor. When everything else seemed so neat, these aspects stood out.

Hux, asleep, seemed almost human, Kylo thought, expression relaxed and without creases. The duvet seemed to engulf him, pulled up above his neck, ginger hair poking out and falling in clumps on the pillow. Approaching the bed, Kylo’s attention was drawn to a hypo-syringe on the side table. Curiosity dominating, he picked it up. It was empty. On the barrel, was a label reading 'benzodiazepine flurazepam-quazepam blend’. He wasn’t sure what the specifics were, but he knew it was a strong sedative. With the empty syringe still in his hand, he poked at the still sleeping General. Nothing. So he poked again, and a small verbal protest was made. Kylo made one final, firm prod into Hux’s shoulder, and he finally woke with a heavy groan. His head poked above the duvet, seeing what distrubed him, and upon seeing who, he very quickly woke up further.

“Ren,” he said, pushing himself into an upright position, “What are you doing in my quarters?”

“The bridge couldn’t reach you. I came to see what the problem was.”

“There’s no problem,” though Kylo could easily see there was, though he wasn’t exactly sure of the nature. He showed Hux the syringe he held, only for it to be violently snatched from his hand. “Leave my stuff alone.” He shoved it in the side table draw, and before it could be closed, Kylo managed to see many other hypo-syringes, some empty some full. Hux kept his attention on Kylo, as he adjusted to swing his legs over the edge of his bed. Kylo had never seen Hux in anything less than full uniform, so seeing him so bare - vest, shorts and socks - and his hair so messy and out of place, hanging in his face, seemed strange. “What was the problem?”

“They didn’t say, I didn’t ask, only that you’d want to be there.”

“I’ll be there shortly,” he finished. When Kylo didn’t move, still knowing there was a mismatch between who he knew Hux to be and the man sat in front of him, Hux glared up, “Leave.” Kylo stared him down only for a second, knowing anything longer would result in the General’s hot temper, and that was something he suspected neither of them really had the energy for. So he turned, picked up his helmet, and left.

He walked back the bridge, people again, moving out his way. When he arrived, he relayed that the General would be there shorty, but opted to not say why, though perhaps Kylo misunderstood what he'd witnessed. Why Hux would opt for such strong sedatives and at this time, he was unsure; Kylo knew something was going on. About fifteen minutes later, General Hux appeared, and Kylo had to spend an extra moment studying him. 

Despite what he had seen not that long ago, Hux appeared unfazed, and as if he'd never left the bridge to being with, never mind of slept. His uniform perfectly straight, his hair tidy, not a strand out of place. The betraying factor were the dark circles still under his eyes. "What is it?" The General asked, his voice harsh and cold like usual, but somehow still different, worse. He ignored Kylo completely, making his way to the officer in command. 

The conversation didn't interest Kylo, so he left. With his initial intent to go train, he found himself distracted, and instead took a trip to the medical wing in search of one particular doctor. He assumed from their shared high ranking status that both he and Hux would share the same staff, and he was correct, finding Doctor Kanda easily.

She greeted him kindly, as she always did - she seemed one of the few people aboard that was not scared of him, and he had mixed feeling in that - and asked what she could do to help. 

"This isn't about me," he stated. She was confused, so he elaborated, "This is about General Hux." He took his helmet off, a courtesy she deserved before continuing. "I've discovered he's on sedatives. How long?" 

"I can't discuss this with you Ren, you know that."

"Something isn't right."

She sighed, "I know."

"Then you must help me find out, and the answer to my question would provide valuable insight."

She held a steady gaze, then shook her head. "I'm sorry Ren. If you're concerned then speak to the General yourself."

"He won't answer to me."

"Have you tried?" He hadn't and she knew that too, and she probably need to ask either. He was frustrated but she was stubborn, and he knew he'd already lost. And though he had mixed feelings about her lack of fear for him, he decided not to force the information out of her.

Kylo apologised for the disturbance and left, putting his helmet back on as he exited the medical wing. He headed for his quarters to change before training, though when he got there, he again found himself distracted. He sat down at his desk, so rarely used, and accessed the ships computers. Though the sedative compound was lengthy, he remembered it close enough for the computers to find a match.

To say it was strong was an understatement, Kylo found. The sedative blend was rarely used, the two in combination sometimes bringing on side effects as serious as death, by organ failure or by suicide. And the more Kylo read, the more infuriated he became. The list of potential aftereffects went on; blindness, numbness, loss of hearing, mental instability, seizures, to name only a few. And this was all after only one use. Prolonged use would lead to addiction, any effects amplified tenfold. 

Why would the General risk himself?

Kylo knew there was only one person who had the answer, and in anger, he stalked to the bridge, fingers balling into fits the entire time. But Hux wasn’t there. As soon as his presence was no longer required, he left. His quarters. Kylo was ready to explode. The General, always lecturing Ren on his recklessness, his impulsivity, dare do this to himself. As least being impulsive meant he didn’t have time to think about the consequences. What excuse did Hux have?

He banged on the door with a heavy fit, the sound resonating through the metal door. A moment later, the door opened, and Hux stood there, confusion and discontent at Kylo’s uninvited arrival.

“Ren,” he said, the venom present but weak, “What are you-” But he didn’t finish before Kylo had pushed himself passed and into the General’s quarters. He took off his helmet to truly look Hux in the eyes as he spoke. 

“Benzodiazepine blend? You’re on sedatives?”

Hux only rolled his eyes, “I told you, leave my stuff alone.”

“How can I when it could kill you?”

“Well, I’m not dead yet.”

His indifference only added to Kylo’s fury. He grabbed at the General as he tried to walk passed, Kylo processing then Hux’s bare arms, his uniform jacket discarded leaving him only in his t-shirt. It looked strange. But then Kylo saw Hux’s arms, pale and covered in bruises, some brown, some purple and blue. Hux tried to jerk his arm from Kylo’s grasp, but his grip was firm.

“Another side effect I see.” The heat in his voice could burn a forest to ash.

“Another? There are no side effects Ren, now let go.” And he tried to pull himself free again, but still Kylo did not falter, and all Hux could do was stare at him with fire in his eyes. But there was something else there, hidden amongst the flames, Kylo could see it but not what it was.

“You have a problem.”

“There is no problem, let-”

“No problem?!” His voice was loud like thunder. “How can you say that?”

It was then that Kylo finally let go, pushing their bodies apart as he took long and even strides to the side table and pulled on the draw. His anger flowing through, he pulled to hard and yanked the draw from its place, and the syringes all fell to the floor. And Kylo stood there looking down at the mess. There was so many, more than he could’ve guessed from that brief glimpse earlier that day. Most were empty. And Hux just stood there, his gaze fixed on Ren.

For a moment, Kylo couldn’t find any words. He’d been preparing an onslaught of accusations and aggression, and he was caught off guard. “How long?” The heat that was once there had lessened to be almost non existence in just a second, the anger replaced by concern. And the volumbe, no longer thunder, instead barely audible.

And then is was silent. Kylo had nothing else to say and Hux didn’t say anything back, just stood there staring at Ren. When Kylo finally managed to look up from the syringes, he saw the fire in Hux’s eyes had been extinguished, and that hidden something was now clear to see; fear. Kylo took a step forward, but Hux backed away, stumbling up on his desk. Though he was hesitant, Kylo took another and another until he was in front of the General, now on the verge of trembles, and he saw Hux’s arm again, a fresh red mark in the shape of Kylo’s hand was glaringly obvious.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around Hux, who went stiff in his hold, and pulled him closer to hold him. “I’m sorry,” Kylo managed. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was sorry for, but he just knew he was. And that’s when the shaking began. It wasn’t intense or violent, but it was there, Kylo could feel it against his hands, his arms, his chest, and Hux shook with no control. So Kylo continued to hold him until his stopped. It was a while.

He wasn’t sure why he decided to encase the General in his arms to begin with, but it somehow felt right. Kylo knew what it was like to hide something, to hide it but never escape from it, and to do it all while being alone. Though he and Hux only just managed to co-exist at the best of times, he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

Hux looked even more drained than before when Kylo finally managed to see his face again. He wasn’t looking at him, instead at his shoulder. “Hux,” Kylo said, gaining his attention, “How long?” He had to ask again. He needed to know.

Surprisingly, Hux put up on arguments. “Over a month. About five weeks.”

“It isn’t supposed to be used for more than five days, seven at most.”

“I know,” and his chest moved, the smallest shift, like a laugh, “Clearly you know enough to know it’s addictive.” His voice was hollow. “After all this time,” he said, speaking more to himself than to Kylo, “It won’t be blasters or phase cannons that kill me, it’ll be this.”

Kylo felt dizzy. He shouldn’t say something like that, how could he? “No,” he managed, but that was all.

“Yes,” Hux replied, shaky but honest, “I can’t stop. I don’t think I want to.”

“No.” Kylo’s eyes were watering unexpectedly, but he couldn’t seem to care, “No, you’ll get better.

When Hux smiled back, Kylo realised it was the first time he’d even seen it. It was small, but genuine, honest in a way words couldn’t describe. “I wish I shared your optimism.” He gently pushed against Kylo and slipped free, and began picking up the syringes and putting them back in the draw atop his bed. Kylo just stood there, like a fool, as he let the addict reorganise his stock.

A loud clunk-thud finally caused Kylo to turn, and the draw was slotted back where it belonged in the side table, and no evidence of the mess could be seen. Hux sat on the edge of his bed, and Kylo went to sit next to him, not knowing what else to do. It was tense. There was still more to be said, Kylo knew that, but how to say any of it escaped him, leaving him lost.

“It’s not like I want this,” Hux said, unprovoked. Kylo looked at the General, whose gaze remained firmly on the floor. “It’s just what’s happened and I don’t...I don’t know how to change it.” The distress was obvious.

They weren’t friends. They barely managed to stay around each other for ten minutes before arguing, but Kylo knew this wasn’t something Hux could do alone. What that meant for Kylo, he didn’t know, he doubted the General would be willing to allow his help, but he also doubted he’d want anyone else knowing. If Hux needed his help, he would be there. Kylo wouldn’t wish being alone on anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, I still think the idea of substance abuse fits with Hux's character in this scenario, and if I went into the reason's why, then I guess it'd make sense more, but I didn't want to do that so...I didn't. But our boy Hux has nightmares and all that, so stays awake for days and then uses sedatives to knock himself out for like ten hours where he can't have nightmares. Not a healthy thing to do, don't do that.


End file.
